Whether it’s getting laid or getting paid… the rules of the game are the same…
The game of marketing a business and the game of seduction are nearly identical. That’s why I suggest all business owners who are serious about growing their business study the art of picking up women as well as the art of business. I don’t care if you’re married or IF YOU ARE a woman, study seduction and you’ll have a deeper understanding of what makes people tick.
Once you understand how people tick, it’ll be easy to sell to them…
That’s why it’s so easy for a guy like Eben Pagan (aka David DeAngelo) to be successful in both markets. He teaches guys how to get more women, and business owners how to make more money. Granted, he uses two seperate channels to do this, but many of the principles apply to both groups.
The world of seducers and pick-up artists is an interesting sub-culture of our society. Guys are selling high dollar info products and hosting intensive seminars and boot camps where they’ll take a bunch of AFC ( average frustrated chumps) into bars and night clubs and help them master the art of attracting women.
In fact, if you haven’t read Neil Strauss’s ‘The Game’ I strongly suggest you go read it, it’s one helluva fun read but it’s also a great book on marketing, sales and positioning. As you read it, just keep in mind that many of the things these guys are doing to get more women and to get laid also work to get more clients and to get paid.
I’ve compiled a list here of some of the blatant similarities that PUA’s (pick-artists) and successful marketers have in common…
But before I get into the list, I want to remind you to opt-in for my free Kick Back Life Fitness Marketing updates and let me send you a link to a secret video that shows fitness entrepreneurs how to make a lot more money and work a lot less hours by using little known underground Internet marketing and business tactics.
1. Get Attention
Pick-up artists often do something called ‘peacocking’, which is where they’ll wear something outrageous or eye catching to call attention to themselves. Whether it’s a pair of binoculars around their neck, a funky hat or an attention grabbin’ jacket, they’ll purposely go out of their way to call attention to themselves. Beautiful women are usually surrounded by guys, so a PUA usually wants to stand out from the crowd.
Savvy marketers use attention grabbin’ headlines to call attention to their ad. The job of the headline is to get the visitor to read the rest of the ad. We’re all bombarded with thousands of advertisements all day, so the effective marketer knows that to cut through the massive wall of messages out their trying to reach their prospect, they need to stand out from the crowd.
Many times this is best done by creating a headline that enters the conversation already going on in the readers mind and really talking to their biggest fears, frustrations or desires. Since you typically only have about 7 seconds to get someone’s attention once they land on your website, I suggest creating a headline that peacocks the hell out of solving your readers biggest problem.
2. Likable
It’s no secret that women go for men who are likable. Now I didn’t say nice, I said likable. The guy could be an a**hole… but usually he’s a likable a**hole and doesn’t care too much about what others think of him. He is who he is and he doesn’t make any excuses or apologies about it.
Great marketers tend be very likable personalities and they let those personalities shine through in their copy.
We all like people who are like us OR who our like us and have achieved something we want to achieve.
And let’s face it, people are bored. They are interested and like people who live exciting lives, take chances and do all the things they wish they were doing.
So one of the best marketing strategies is to be likable. People don’t want to buy from some big corporation or some negative dude, they want to buy from someone they like.
3. Display Value
Women are attracted to men who display value.
They want a man who has a higher social status then they do (alpha-male), who makes more money then they do (provider), who can protect them (protector) and who is typically confident, funny and fun to be around. You’ll notice often times women seem to go for a**holes. Well, it’s because the a**hole displays many of these traits. He has a higher social status than her, makes a good protector, doesn’t let things get in his way of accomplishing what he wants to accomplish (a good provider quality) and often times has a dangerous feel to him (exciting/fun to be around.)
Usually women don’t even know why they’re attracted to a guy. Sure, they’ll say it’s because "he doesn’t take any sh*t from anyone", but they have no idea that they’re genetically predisposed to find those qualities attractive in a man ( the ‘no sh*t taking’ qualities like cockiness and confidence.)
Back in the cave man days that "take no sh*t" attitude usually equaled good provider and good protector. Unfortunately, that often isn’t the case today. In fact, many times it just means the guy’s just an a**hole. But women are predisposed to being attracted to that a**hole because it’s in their DNA.
A**hole = Provider and Protector… got it?
Good marketing is the same; it displays value and focuses on benefits rather than being focused on features. When it does display a feature, it ties it back into a benefit. Example: "We’ve included this ( feature ) so you can get this ( benefit )"

4. They Know It’s a Numbers Game
Picking up women is a numbers game, and PUA’s know this. They know they’ll need to approach X amount of women to get X amount of women into bed. The more women they approach, the more women they’ll get into bed. Now there are things they can do to boost their response rate, like being cocky, funny, fit, having good posture, not showing any of their insecurities or inner-wussiness, projecting confidence, etc.
But the bottom line is that it’s a numbers game.
Approach X amount of women and get laid X amount of times. And just like advertising, different men have different response rates. No matter how fat, insecure and ugly a guy is, if he approaches enough women, he will get laid.
Same holds true for your marketing. Get X amount of people to see your ad and you’ll get X amount of people to respond. The good news is, just like guys can become more confident and get into better shape to increase their own sexual response rate, marketers can increase response rates to their advertising by testing, tracking and applying solid direct response marketing tactics.
5. Social Proof
This is a no-brainer. If a female thinks a lot of women are into a man, she suddenly finds him more interesting. The social proof of the other women finding him attractive suddenly makes him more attractive to her. However, if she thinks that other women aren’t into him, she’ll want nothing to do with him. Women want to be with a guy that other women want to be with.
The same holds true in your marketing. People want to know that other people, specifically people just like themselves, have gotten results using your product or service. If your website is loaded with before and after pictures of clients and video testimonials, you’ll get a lot more responses than if you have none.
People want to go with the poplular choice, they feel safe following the herd and feel that whatever everyone is buying must be the best... because "hell… everyone else is buying it!"
6. Scarcity / Exclusivity / Take Away
Let’s say woman meets two guys.
She finds them both equally physically appealing.
They are both equally successful.
She is equally attracted to both of them at a glance.
Now, let’s say one of the guys is throwing himself all over her and asking if she’ll go on a date with him tomorrow or Saturday or Sunday or as soon as possible. He’ll do whatever he has to do to see her again as soon as possible and he’ll drop everything to make that happen.
He basically put’s her up on a pedestal.
Now the OTHER guy is *kind of* into her… but she’s not exactly sure where he’s coming from. She can’t read him 100%
And he’s really busy, and in fact needs to leave in a minute because he’s got people to see, places to go and things to do. He’s doesn’t seem completely available to her, even though he shows some interest, he’s got a life of his own and could pretty much take her or leave her. He’s got goals and plans and lives in his own reality, where everyone else is just a guest. She’s a guest in his reality and his reality is strong.
She’ll almost always go for the guy who isn’t completely available to her. Now, there are some psychological reasons for this, like the fact that she probably didn’t get enough attention from her father.
However, there are other reasons as well. Like the fact that we all want something we can’t have. We want what there is a limited supply of, because by the sheer fact there’s limited supply of it means it must be good (that’s our perception at least… and perception is everything.)
Many pick-up artists know this and that’s why they’ll do things like:
- Always be the first one to end the conversation
- Say they have to go in a minute ( time constraint)
- Say they’re not really available at this point in their life
- Use the cat string strategy.
The cat string theory is an interesting one and it can work wonders in your marketing. Basically it means they’ll give her a little positive attention and then take it back and create a little distance (playing hard to get)… give… take away… give… take away…
Just like you can keep a cat fascinated for hours with a string he can’t get, but once you give it to him and he has it he’s over it.
The same is true of picking up women and marketing a business. Once they can easily have it, often times they don’t want it. The harder it is for them to get, the more they want it.
You see, we all want what we can’t have… we want to be part of the exclusive club and we want things that are in limited supply because we might not be able to get them tomorrow. And we’ll do a lot more to keep what we have (fear of loss) then to get something we want (desire)
In your marketing, make sure to hammer in the ideas that you don’t work with everyone, you’re in limited supply and there are only seven widgets left or 11 more hours left to get the special price… after that the price doubles or the widget goes away forever.
7. Authority
Dan Kennedy says we’re all walking around with our umbilical cords hanging out looking for a place to plug them in.
We were all raised to listen to our parents and obey our teachers. We’ve been programmed to listen to authority figures and do what they say.
Most women will tell you they want their man to take control of situations. Whether it be where they’re sitting in a restaurant, where they’re going on a date and what they’re doing in the bedroom. They want a strong man who is in control.
( Note: I didn’t say women want some control freak who actually has no control and tries to control everything around him because of the constant fear he feels from not being in control of himself.)
The same holds true for your prospects. Subconsciously they WANT to be told what to do.
So don’t be a wimp about asking for the order or for the sale. Tell them exactly what to do. Say "here’s what I’ve got, here’s what it’ll do for you and here’s what you need to do next."
TELL THEM what to do; don’t leave it up to them to figure it out on their own.
Bottom Line
The truth is that there are far more commonalties between master-level seduction artists and top gun marketers than I could possible list in one blog post.
If you’d like to learn more about this stuff, whether for your business or your *game* I suggest reading ‘The Game’ by Neil Strauss.
I also suggest you read Robert Cialdini’s ‘Influence’, it’ll give you a real understanding psychology of persuasion.
And don’t forget to opt-in for my free Kick Back Life Fitness Marketing updates… I’ll also send you a link to a secret video that shows how you can make a lot more money and work a lot less hours from using little known underground Internet marketing tactics.
Let me know what you think…





















Dude,
You destroyed this post man, at first I was hesitant to read the whole damn thing but once I started reading it I COULDN'T STOP!!
The comparison with the pick up artists made it so much easier to understand and it gave me a different perspective and angle to look outside of the box, which i think everyone needs to do and also needs to be reminded of from time to time.
Im giving this post a standing ovation!
now to get my hands on that book….
Hi Chris,
I loved this article great stuff!!!
…although the photos were a little distracting, and not in a bad way either
Leon
Great post, Chris.
I remember when The Game was at the heights of it's popularity: summer 2006. Or, at least that's when a lot of my buddies were reading it.
I like the way you paralleled sex attraction with the attraction of customers, very insightful.
Here's what I'd add:
The fist step, getting attention, is perhaps the most important.
Aside from a great headline, what else can you do to get attention?
How about placing your message in the places where your most likely prospect will see them?
How about advertising at times where they are most likely home?
You've done PPC? Have you considered local PPC?
Oh…before I get too far into Getting Attention, I should mention that you need to have a good demographical and psychographical understanding of your most likely customer. Not just numbers, but an understanding of her as a health-conscious mother who wants to keep in shape, but has unique needs (whatever they may be, it's up to you to find out) that aren't met by the local gyms.
Have something, an offer, that no one else in town is making.
Think outside the box: Your customer is health-conscious. What other things do they buy? Can you strike up a deal with the local vitamin shop? Hotel? Massage parlour?
Thanks guys
and DK Fynn, you bring up some great points that everyone should be thinking about
Great article Chris!
It's amazing what the art of persuasion can due to both your marketing and social life.
Your posts are always both entertaining and educational. . .can't wait for the next article bro!
Very interesting titbits of information Chris backed up with quite a few mamorable photo's…. As usual I found your marketeer musings to be insightfull delightful and completly on the money…researching this one must have been a chore ….
Ita amazing that how you Completely Merged the two different things, and i personally think that there is little difference between marketer and Prostitute:)
I can only imagine how much fun it was picking out the photographs for this article. VERY good article!
Half of those reasons are why I'm now engaged to a gorgeous european woman of my dreams.
The only point I disagree with is number 5. It's not the guy they are interested in. It's the game of competing with each other.
Once the competition is over nobody really wanted the trophy in the first place.
Instinctively if said male is all of the above as stated (branding): high society-confident-provider-protector-funny then maybe yes.
In marketing it's the same. Women invest in certain brand of hand bags for status just like men invest in a brand of car for the same reason.
Those items will eventually be sold and another model in that brand (usually) will be purchased.
It's not 'everyone wants one' per say it's what holds intrinsic value for a consumer.
If women are not fighting over a guy it's because he doesn't have any intrinsic value to them. Again, instinct on a woman's part.
Wow, it was a great article and I learned many things from you about woman and business. Great, I stumbled it…
Hey guys, I'm looking to do a part two soon… you're gonna love it
Nice post Chris, Very true stuff
Very interesting post! I liked the comparisons you made as each of them made sense as to why you would compare them.
I'm sure you had fun making this post!
Thanks
Amazing article!!
Actually, David DeAngelo (as well as others) told people to read about marketing strategy.
For instance the famous marketing-psychology book 'Influence' by Cialdini, is a well-read book by Pickup Artists and those that want to become PUAs.
Interesting post, I love the way you drew similarities between marketing and pick up artists.
Well done
Awesome post Chris. I am just starting to read your blog and look forward to reading the back logs with posts like this.
Exclusive. Thats the name of the game. Women and business of value dont go for the seen everywhere with everything type.If you are seen everywhere, its too easy. The best want the very best.
Something that no one else has or is hard to acquire. Thats where value and benefits comes in.
Nice article though. The Baldchemist.
I love the comparison. It makes perfect sense. Is that body paint in that first picture? Thinking of being newly single I might have to get the book.
This is some good marketing info
http://www.dwycifitness.com
This is an awesome post and you still got part 2. Can't wait!
Love it.
Tao of steve is a great flick too.
Good article but it does only apply to the masses, I know I wouldn't mess with or go after a guy who was being fawned over by a bunch of other women. Big red flag. He would have to come after me and prove his worth.
This post will stand the time of ages. I just found it and is is been out for some time and the message is clear. Learn about people and how they work and you will be able to sell anything.
If you are confident that you are going to sell something and you expose your ad to enough people, your product will sell.
This was so well put and the images were nice too and it will be true 50 years from now.
Cheers!
Chris,
Awesome job buddy! This is he first post I've ever read from your site and I'm impressed. I'm a full-time fitness blogger and used almost all of these principles to grow my small blog into one with a massive readership.
I think your best tip is the one on social proof. People should try everything imaginable to get as many comments as possible on their posts. I have one post with 1,100 comments…but most average around 50'ish.
Your blog also embodies all of these principles. The first thing I noticed when I read this post was a certain "feel" and entertainment value that many sites are missing. People go to the internet to be entertained (even when they want to learn things).
I'm going to subscribe to your RSS feed and add you to Twitter. I plan on visiting your site on a regular basis from now on. Very cool!
Rusty
PS: My latest post is about not "needing" personal trainers for the long-term. My intention wasn't to slam personal trainers at all, but just to let people know that they could survive without them.
Chris buddy … you killed it again!
Great thought provoking post … I would actually go one further and suggest that taking the time to learn pick up is such a valuable skill for all people.
In all areas of life, whether you are a dish-washer, a car salesman, a lawyer, an internet marketer or a professional poker player, the masterful art of effective communication and influencing people is probably THE most valuable skill you can ever learn, but it probably escapes most of us because in order to excel at it, it takes real self development, discipline, living consciously, strong daily work habits and a big set of balls!
Keep it up Chris,
You have one more devoted reader.
Jason
Funny how the pictures in your posts always support the theme, even the chicks with guns!
Thanks for helping my brain stay clear and focused Chris.
Thanks again Chris
It's a great post worth reading again. I got the Robert Cialdini's book. Awesome book.
Great post Chris.
Definately the most important thing is to get people's attention first. if you don't then they are not going to know you are there….
I love your very different approach to lateral thinking when it comes to marketing.
Great to read thanks Chris.
Great Post! This has a ton of useful information, in fact, I've read now numerous times.
Awesome post!
I guess this will also help everyone the next time their out at the bar as well:)
I definitely agree with the person with time constraints. New trainers I talk with always run themselves ragged making themselves available 24 hours a day. If people want to train with you, they will make it fit into your schedule…no matter what the time constraints.
Chris,
can't believe I somehow missed this post! This is why you're the man, simple shit that can be applied right now and makes me think where I can use these strategies in my business.
You blog is like the bible of marketing that keeps expanding
Luka Hocevar
http://www.HocevarPerformance.com
I will pick up Robert Cialdini's 'Influence', thanks
Once I started rolling w/my biz like this, it exploded
Deep down, this is what I always wanted, to be exclusive, have a waiting list, NOT be for everyone and play by my own rules
This is a powerful lesson to be used in the biz world, awesome post bruddah!
–z–
Do a google on pick up guide
Well presented analogy and mostly true. But, there is one big difference. A well-run business can truthfully attract, seduce, close the deal, deliver value, and maintain relationships with many customers over time, and that makes them more than pickup artists.
Pickup artists are always scamming because nothing sustainable can be achieved when closing the deal is the end game, delivering nothing to the customer but a one-night stand. Sure, there are a lot of companies like that and they generally end up like pick artists, wasted and broke.
Thank`s for sharing this well-written intresting article.
PS:Could you please add some half naked men to your article next time?
Hehe.
Annette.
heloo all there thanks for being a jewish ppo
Chris you are as entertaining as you are genius! This post was exactly what you talk about in all your meterial…blog with passion and be likeable, edgy and interesting, though I have never met you man I owe you big time for my huge success in Fitness and from keeping me from throwing in the towel. Also thanks for hooking me up with Steve and Bedros at http://fitbodybootcamp.com I am going to have my first boot camp this month! Thanks Man.
Jay
I have The Game, need to pick it up and read it again. Thanks
Feel physically excited and amped about the possibilities of learning this skill. I especially like the 'not being too available' part. It's such a turn off if people are too full on in your face. I like to buy but not be sold. Thanks Chris
I haven't read something as funny as this in awhile. Good read and great pics!
Mike
Ha, any excuse to put some ladies onto a page – I like it. I keep meaning to read 'the game' seen as so many of my mates seem to have read it and rave about it.
Wow,hot girls
Fantastic.
It's amazing what the art of persuasion can due to both your marketing and social life.
Hair Shampoos
It's very nice article you make us realized that Pick-Up Artists and Savvy Marketers Have in Common. Thanks
Unstoppable Entrepreneur Bonus
This is a very interesting article. It makes a lot of sense. Marketing yourself to women is just like marketing a product to someone. I've never looked at the similarities though. Great post. You got me thinking.
@indian premier league:
You mean a Marketer as a Pimp, because he´s trying to make the company/product(Prost.) more appealing.
It's not just business, parallels can be drawn between seduction and every aspect of humanity. Social dynamics in general are governed by the same axiomatic laws. Bio-mechanics has always been, and will always be, the God of men.