That BURNING in The Pit Of My Soul is FINALLY Gone… and 15 Things I Learned Along the Way
For years I walked around with a sense of unease and discontentment that varied anywhere from slight to explosive…
I'd look around at all the other guys I worked with all day and whatever was bothering me didn't seem to be bothering them… they were content to have a sh*tty life.
After years of trying to figure out just what exactly was causing me all this inner torment it hit me one day…
I was living by someone else's values…
It was that simple… I was waking up everyday at 5:45am to spend 30 minutes sitting in traffic to then spend nine hours doing something that I did not enjoy, was not fulfilling and pretty much bored me out of my mind.
After work I'd drive home, eat dinner, watch some television, go to sleep and wake up once again at 5:45am to do the whole thing over again.
That's how I spent my days… the only day I really enjoyed was Saturday, which seemed to fly by like a guy making a jailbreak… and Sunday was spent in some form of low-level depression because I knew I had to go to bed early so I could get at 5:45am the next morning to go to work.
( Sidenote: I was also broke… because I made about $8.00 an hour… but that's a whole different post)
One day I was talking to an uncle of mine who I always considered to be a pretty happy guy… for the last almost 40 years he spent the majority of his time pondering the meaning of existence and getting to know his true Self (with a capital ‘S')
He'd spent years living with just a few possessions in India, he'd meditated everyday for over a quarter century and had sat down with more spiritual guru's than most people even know exist…. And he almost always had a smile that went much deeper than just his face.
When I was explaining to him about the burning in my soul and how I lived everyday with a deep loathing for the work I was doing, he simply told me to meditate on what I wanted to do for living.
So I did…
… and it was one of the largest turning points in my entire LIFE. It's almost as if the answers were right there in front of me the whole time but I was never listening…
But now I was listening.
To make a long story short I was able to create a career for myself as an info-marketer, blogger and direct response marketer that is not only fun, fulfilling and exciting… but it also allows me an insane amount of freedom…
I get to work when I want and where I want… it like I'm living in a dream.
And the money's good too.
I feel like I'm doing something I wanted to do my whole life but just didn't know it… and today I'm surrounded by others who have values similar to mine and are passionate about the same things… I honestly feel like I'm living a different life… the one I was meant to live… and all the agony and frustration I had in my day job was what it took to get me to the rivers edge…
I know it was the depth of my discontent for having a regular day job that caused me to finally do whatever it took to make the change… I am extremely grateful for those years of misery.
My discontent turned out to be my launching pad.
Along this journey I've learned lesson after lesson, some painful, some embarrassing, and some downright WEIRD… but most all of them have been life-changing and nothing short of gifts.
Here's some of what I've learned…
1. Find the path that FEELS right to you, not conceptually, not just to your bank account and not just something that makes ends meet… search deep inside for your path and the answer will come… inside you know what you were born to do… don't get side tracked by all the day to day thoughts and problems that we tend to take so seriously… the answer isn't in your mind… it's in your soul… I know, I know… sounds pretty new agey… but it's the truth
2. Be very clear on what your values are… because if you don't know what's important to you, you just mind find yourself working for someone with a stronger sense of purpose then your own… and that SUCKS
3. When your path becomes clear… take massive action right away and get things done fast… and whatever parts of your path aren't clear yet will be revealed to you along the way… many times through what may seem like hurdles, challenges or mistakes… this is good
4. Understand that success usually happens in the middle of massive amounts of chaos… don't sweat it… you can fine tune things later… you're never gonna have all your ducks in a row
5. If you build a business, build one that is systems dependent AND NOT owner dependent… unless you wanna work 24/7
6. Surround yourself ONLY with those people who support you in your path… let the rest fall away… it's easier for them to pull you down than you to pull them up
7. Be sure to nurture the important relationships in your life… it's one of the most important things you have
8. Take time almost everyday to LEARN, but don't let learning turn into an avoidance activity… because without application most knowledge is useless
9. What other people think of you is absolutely NONE of your business… YOUR thoughts are your business, their thoughts are THEIR business
10. Step out of your comfort zone on a regular basis and realize that you and your business will only grow when you do things that take you beyond your current level of emotional comfort…. .get comfortable with being uncomfortable… feel the fear and do it anyway… life is weird and intense sometimes… get used to it
11. Have clearly defined specific goals and focus on them a lot, but don't forget to be present in the moment... seems paradoxical… because it is… find that balance on the razors edge
12. Realize you're NEVER gonna get everything done… that's ok… just do one thing at a time and start with the most important things… get other people to do as many things as possible for you… and make it a win/win relationship
13. Be persistent and flexible… another paradox… again, the razors edge.
14. Start relationships off with the giving hand… I have two successful businesses and I truly believe this is the most important factor in the success of both of them
15. Build your business or career around your ideal life, and not the other way around… don't live in the leftovers
There ya go… fifteen things I've learned along the path from miserable employee to happy entrepreneur… in the comment section below I'd love to hear some of the lessons YOU'VE learned along YOUR path
Also, I'm working one on one with a few select readers of this blog to build their business… but I won't work with anyone who isn't a doer, you can learn more about the program here: One Year Private Coaching Program
Comments on That BURNING in The Pit Of My Soul is FINALLY Gone… and 15 Things I Learned Along the Way
Dude Chris,
You are one of my best buds and I'm so FRIGGING proud of you man!
I remember when we first met about 7 years ago, before you were the legendary marketing guru… And let me say this: "I have personally witnessed Chris do EVERY single thing in this blog to go from an unknown struggling trainer, to MEGA SUCCESSFUL FITNESS MARKETING, INFO PRODUCT SUPERSTAR!
You're a pioneer dude, and you're clearing a path straight to success for thousands bro!
Your proud bro,
Steve
Very very uplifting.
Chris you're taking this blog to unknown heights with these topics. Very awesome man – really liking your way of thinking.
Chris, this is an awesome post. You've done an amazing job at turning things into what you want them to be. The fact that you love it shines through in the way you do things…for that, I truly appreciate you and your style.
There's something about that "Gut Feeling" that we don't always choose to listen to that ultimately puts us in the place we need to be…once we choose to listen;)
You're living it man. Keep it coming!
Donovan "DFitnessguy" Owens
Hey Chris… You are so right! I am in the process of getting my internet company started and am doing it for all those reasons. I spent several years as a trainer in a gym and while I loved my clients and my "job-Helping people", I felt taken advantage of and often bullied (nature of the place). I tried to just do my job and stay out of the BS but it was impossible. Long story short–I eventually hated the way I felt and decided to leave. I didnt like the way we were treated, I wasnt making money and it started to suck the life out of me. You need to be true to yourself and as I watched the other trainers, stay year after year, taking the crap..I realized I had to get out.
Started my own PT business which is great, but as you know, the one on one training starts to take a toll too. I definitely dont want to stop it, but I realized I needed more.
I did what you said and stepped out of my comfort zone and feel more energized than I have in a long time. Excited, often frustrated (cause Im not very good at computer stuff), and I have days where I wonder what the hell Im doing, but Im learning, everyday!I've started teaching fitness classes to teenage girls and that is awesome. Totally different energy and a great age.
So, I think Im on my way! The most important thing in life is to pursue your passion, bc if you love it, you'll make it work. And what Ive learned is when your surrounded by negativity, it is very hard to pull yourself out of it. You need to surround yourself w people who are supportive and encouraging and then, move forward……
Thanks for all your words of wisdom.
Hey,great tips! Thanks for sharing your life examples. I didn't realized you meditated. That's trully awesome. I find that just sitting there, listening to yourself for a few minutes in silence really allows you to dig deep down inside yourself and find your purpose. In short, it motivates you. This was a truly personal post and I like that. Great tips and I wish you even more success in the future!
Hey Chris,
Possibly your best post yet (and best listened along to Mama's & Papa's Californian Dreaming!). Behind every successful business, there is a strong entrepreneurial mindset of how you intend to make a real lasting difference (contribution). Thanks for the insights!
Noel Lyons
Chris
I have only been following your blog for a short time. I think this is the best post I have read so far and is timely for where I am in my business.
This stuff gets me fired up like BRAVEHEART! FREEEEEEEEEDOM!!
Like Steve said, thanks for being a pioneer and trailblazer
Monty
Brother Chris,
This (for me anyway) is THE MOST relevant, hammering the nail on the head C.M. post that should be read by ALL frustrated entrepreneurs. It transcends the fitness industry. Really brau… THIS POST SHOULD GO VIRAL!
Peace-
Matt
OHHHHHH F***ing A Bruddah Man!
Chris, this Blog keeps getting better and better!!!
I LOVE these posts – Words cna not describe how great this blog is, these posts are seriously pushing me into a new realm and pushing my mind set into a "BIGGER & BETTER" mode
I can't thank you enough brother
for the blog and for your Coaching…they are ALL priceless!
U da man bruddah!
–Z–
Chris,
Your story is truly incredible man. So few people can say they are living the life they truly envisioned, and you are one of the few. Huge Congrats man and truly grateful that you are happy to share it with us.
I think there a many of us on here that are in our own way striving to be sitting at the same table as you are, along with Steve and Bedros. It's not an easy road in that it takes plenty of Jatz, plenty of work and continued focus to get what you really want.
Couple things I have learned…
1. You are the source… You can get people to help you with your vision for sure… ultimately the buck stops with you. If you're a dick then good luck. If you're a dude then there are tons of other dudes out there you can help and in turn they help you
2. Stand for something, or fall for anything
3. Take timeouts to just be. We get so caught up in our shit that we forget that we are actually here on this planet. Just stop whatever it is you are doing for a few minutes and let yourself float away. (not if you're driving… not while I'm in the car at least)
4. You Gotta Hustle… or in Oz we'd say bust ur ass… not much will fall in your lap. It's No Secret that without Action, Happy Thoughts will get you bugger all.
5. It's good to promote others. Not everyone, but those you connect with, or if you like their shiz… help them by promoting them be it on twitter, blogs, calls whatever… It feels good to know that those you respect and appreciate can benefit from your helping hand
6. Remember yourself… This could tie in with a previous one… Just remember to focus on yourself as much as you can help others and as much as you can give… also give a little to yourself otherwise before too long you will burn out and have nothing to give
7. Get out with the people… Too much time on the PC aint good for your neck, back, knee, hips, etc. This is something I am adjusting as after 3 years of MANY hours Online (compared to my past live or pre 2006) I realised you gotta spend more time off your butt and amongst others
8. The 1 Most Important thing at a time is something I have REALLY been thinking of lately… There are sooo many things we can do… books to read, sites to build, camps to run, people to train, products to develop, intervies to conduct… that Overwhelm and Frustration can manifest very quickly.. Instead of getting caught up in all of that.. ask yourself this question..
What is The 1 Thing I can Do Today To Help Grow My Business… and just 1 thing… forget the rest they will come.. and you can ask yourself that question in relation to your helath and fitness, relationships etc.
Just 1 Thing… and make sure you follow through and do it.. (even if it takes two days… Get It Done)
9. You can learn something from everyone (thanks mum) it is true though. Even if at first you decide hey this guy is too much… or this guy swears too much I don't like it… Always remember that behind all that you say you don't like… is a person Just like you.. wanting the best for his/her family, self, friends and clients.. doing the best he /she can with what he/she has got.. and believe me.. there will be something you can learn from them… even if it's what NOT to do…
10. Did I mention Action? As in Taking It
11. Continued growth and contribution… yes a little TRish.. and I did mention it earlier..but .. if you aint growing, you're dying and it feels good to contribute and make a positive difference in another's life.. even if it's something as simple as giving "The pick Up Artist" a good laugh with a big set of Jatz… it feels good.
Thanks for the post Chris and encouraging us to expand our minds and contribute to the post..
Cheers
Adam T
Off topic totally but that book Power of Full Engagement that you love, guess who's Tony's trainer!! yep me. For 5 years now, I thought it was so funny that I told him about it and got a kick out of seeing his book in one of your posts!!! lol
Awesome and honest. Chris, I have 2 questions about EFT that might even be your next post because I feel so many trainers get confused by it.
q#1 – When people go on auto-recurring payments their payments stay the same every month cuz they commit either to a number of sessions to be paid over time or they commit to a number of sessions per month. FINE, ALL GOOD SO FAR
BUT what if a client feels like training a little more this month or a client cancels last minute (so you charge him obviously) but you arrange for another session. Now this client has got an extra session and you need to get paid for that. Or a client knows that they go on vacation for 2 weeks in May and don't want to be charged as much that month.
q#2 – You can never tell when you are going to land a deal. If you do EFT only on certain days of the month (as Bedros would say) then what does one do about the possible gap between the few sessions you give the person and the time they go on EFT?
example, john says a deal on the 9th of the month. our first session is Friday the 10th. we have 2 more next week on the 13th and the 15th. I only do auto debit on the 3rd or the 17th of the month. Should I get a prepay for the sessions leading up to the first auto-debit???
thanks and if you do not answer this or it's out of line or too much – all good- still luv ya and admire you and will still follow you. thinking about joining your monthly club also
Hey Chris,
WOW, that post really hit me where it hurts! and I LOVE it!
I have been laid off from my regular job the last few months while being the stay at home dad looking after our 10 month old daughter while my wife went back to work.
In the mean time I have seen this change of events as an OPPORTUNITY to pursue my passion in health and fitness by helping busy dads around the world get in shape and get their life back with DadFitness.com
I am even working on getting out of my comfort zone big time by moving out of my small town to have access to better things.
Keep the great content coming!
Thanks…
Sean Barker
http://www.DadFitness.com
Chris,
Awesome Post! You nailed it with this one!
Right now I have that same burning desire to be successful too. I was struggling for a while, but now that if have finally started taking ACTION everything is quickly falling into place.
Thanks for all the great info,
Coach Ben
Excellent advice! Sometimes we just all need to hear this stuff to remind us that everyone struggles to find their path. #8 is some of the best advice on the page. I teach it to my trainers as analysis paralysis!
8. Take time almost everyday to LEARN, but don't let learning turn into an avoidance activity… because without application most knowledge is useless.
Thanks again Chris!
WOW! I have been going through that same feeling man!
Felt it when I took time off of training clients to try real estate and then quickly went back to training. Also, felt it big time last year when I got back to motorcycles after having a BIG crash like 7 years ago and taking time off of riding. When you love something, NOTHING should hold you back from it.( Anyway chicks dig scars, haha.)
ALWAYS go with your GUT. If you dont like your situation, then change it! Only you can change it.
Chris and Steve: you guys are AWESOME! And you deserve all the $$$ you get because you are helping TONS of others in the process.
Well said Chris! thank you for the back to reality trip.
I see my self in that rout getting in touch with my soul and start rediscovering that getting my in to action following a step by step plan will make the rest of my journey incredible cause I'll be touching so many peoples life's in the way I need people I can't do it along.
Sincerely,
Alfredo
Hey thanks for all the good words.. weird how the best posts are the ones I write the quickest… I guess cuz they require the least thought and come from a some deeper knowing or something
Adam – DUUUUDE, love your tips, those tips are a post in themselves
Mithcell – We just re-adjust their billing, if they're gonna train a little more we'll charge them a little more, if they're gonna go on vacation they can either
1. Make up the workouts
2. We'll charge them less this month
3. Move their payment day ( if they go on vacation for two weeks, we could move their payments up two weeks)
As for the day of the month question, we put their payments on any day of the month, usually the day of their second workout since the first was a trial workout.
Also…. if their is some lag time, because let's say they don't wanna be billed to until the 15th for financial reasons or something… then we just do an extra charge that first month…. OR, like you said, you could always get a pre-pay for those workouts, like a check or something
hope this helps Mitchell
To everyone who's commented on this post so far… THANK YOU for your tips, stories, insights and kind words
Thank you for your wisdom and may
God continue to bless your
ministry.
In good health,
Oscar
Yeah Chris, very "deep" stuff – I love it -
Along the same lines, I'd add choosing a path based on its potential for both you as a person and your business to grow – And it helps if it's something easy like personal training – haha!
Yes it helped a lot. I did not know for sure that you can CHANGE THE MONTHLY PAYMENTS if need-be when you go on auto-debit/recurring billing. I thought that was a problem but it's not and you have a lot of control.
Also, I found out that you don't even have to "scare" people with 3, 6 or 12 month programs. You have the option to go on "open-ended" contracts if you wish which is a great way to get people on board cuz AS LONG AS YOU DELIVER TOP-NOTCH SERVICE they will stay with you for a looooong time! even longer than 12 months. I still have clients for 5-11 years believe it or not
I will be on auto-debit by next week. Already filled out the paperwork with the company
You are a CHAMP for answering my question with the quickness and with clarity.
P.S. You were right – my clients we not scared of EFT – I WAS! When I told my clients I might be switching over to a better system almost all of them were game. Remember – it's easier for both parties and people who are financially free could care less about 50,75,100 bucks a session. They would rather it be "taken care of". Only makes us trainers look more professional and big-time
Chris – I wish you well and continued success as always. Enjoy your weekend
Yo Chris!
This post is friggin' GOLD, bro!
I've sent the link to every business owner and wannabe-"maybe-gonna-do-it-someday-when-everything's-right" mug I know.
Everyone said I was crazy when I decided I wanted a weekday completely off. No phone, no email, no training, no twitter. I decided on Thursday because it was lightest anyway.
Long story short, yesterday (thurs) I slept in, ate great meals (no wolfing down tuna between session), read, went to lunch with friends, drove around Lake Tahoe and had a friggin' blast!
Couldn't have done it without you, Bedros, and Steve.
Thanks!
~ Luke
chris awesome post dude. few blogs I read on the regular. yours and steve hochman. the info you guys keep providing is superb. I've got mobile internet now so my phone has been locked on kickbacklife for the last few days.
Got 1 more for ya!
If I had a client at 75 bucks that comes 4x a week for a total of 300 per week…
would you MONTHLY auto-bill it as 75×8 for 1,200 smackers or would you follow the Steve Hochman advice and bill based on the 52 weeks ( not 48 weeks) and charge
300 bucks x 52 weeks in a year / 12 months in a year AND CHARGE 1,300 INSTEAD???????????
I can see the latter one getting confusing if the # of sessions slightly varies every month
i have been a shy guy for so long! i do need to attend the pick up artist with mystery and he can kill my fear and i can learn how to meet anybody— i know i have to get out of the comfort zone- it gonna take baby steps and then I WILL BE A WINNER!
Couple questions for you chris…
about number 14– what do you mean by that?
also, #15– let me get this straight…treat my business like I want to be treated– right– don't get behind, but build it up like a flower that is blooming so beautiful, correct??? correct me if i am wrong.
how do i find people who can support my path?
Thanks for the post.. I have heard little similar like this, but get the secret DVD— it is almost like what you are talking about. Cool.
keep up the good work buddy
Ben
Chris,
Seriously, one of your best posts I've read so far! Such simple advice but sometimes I have a hard time "seeing the forest through the trees". This helps me greatly.
I've had this burning for years, since I was a kid and got my first job…working for someone else, which was what lit the fire. I always knew I had to work for myself, just took me awhile to find exactly what I would be doing. I quit my job last year and became a PT and now I am beginning to love life. And I have a hard time deciding what I love more, running the business and promoting or actually training people. I have a fire inside for both and I love the burn!
Your tip on coming to grips with not being able to get everything done is really hitting me hard today, the past couple of weeks I have been so busy and it's eating me up that I haven't been able to get anything done. I still have the fire burning hot, but just hearing that it's ok to let some things go till tomorrow was something I needed to hear today, thank you. I have started to implement the tip on having others do work for you and barter training for their services, it's great and has helped me a lot this week and I'm sure it will continue to help me for a long time.
Keep up the amazing posts, you are the man! And thank you again, truly, thank you.
Doug Seamans
http://www.prideconditioning.com
Hey thanks for all the cool words
Mitchell – 300 bucks x 52 weeks in a year / 12 months in a year is what I do… the math I usually use is
cost per session
x # of sessions per week
x week in a year ( 52 )
divided by number of months in a year ( 12 )
It comes out 8.666 workouts a month if someone is twice a week or 13 workouts a month if someone is 3 times a week
to ben @ 12:41 pm #14 means basically go help a bunch of people before trying to get anything in return… it works on so many levels
and #15 – write down your ideal typical day and then create a business that allows you to have as many of those "ideal typical" days as possible
hope this helps
Great stuff Chris, very inspirational, keep em coming!
Thank you. You are really a special dude!
Chris…got it dude…Thanks man!
yes, makes sense..it is better to give than to recieve!
I will try to remember what you said about #15.
how did you do that? i mean..writing down…how long did it take you to get there? thanks man!
ben
Another awesome article Chris. This is how everyone should live there lives.
Wow, incredible stuff! I was definitely in that place until January of this year. I was unhappy and frustrated in an 8 to 5 job that sucked the life out of me, so much so, that I got fired and felt a great sense of relief and freedom to finally pursue my dreams.
Now, I'm making things happen to live my "ultimate dream lifestyle."
These are the things I need to hear and learn to help me achieve my goals. I'm glad I discovered your site and get excited and motivated when I read your blogs to continually move forward.
I'm open to all the help I can get, and am willing to be of help as well. Please contact me for any joint ventures or projects, comments or ideas.
The BEST 15 facts, pieces of advice, words of wisdom, you have ever written!
Well done.
VERY NICE!
GOOD JOB
DEEP!