Waging War Against The Lies That Bind You

You’ve been lied to and taken for a sucker, and chances what I’m about to share with you is negatively affecting your training business in one way or another

In fact, for some trainers, it’s DESTROYING their business and causing them to feel forced to go out and get day jobs

You see, after learning some HUGE lessons in my life… and I do mean HUGE LESSONS… the ones that come from some MASSIVE FUCKING MISTAKES…

BIG Mistakes… mistakes the size of that Big Ol’ Red Koolaid guy … life and death kinda stuff… and A LOT OF THEM…

I’ve learned one or two funky little lessons along the way about life and business, and I’d like to share one with you today that honestly can change the direction of your life forever… this stuff may not be the prettiest to look at, but the full beauty of life lies just on the other side

And once the scam is exposed for what it is, you can choose to be free of it, or let continue to destroy your goals and dreams

Hopefully I can save you a little of the trial and error I’ve had to go through

You know, some people seem to be able to learn by seeing others touch the hot stove and then not going and touching the stove…

That hasn’t always been the case with yours truly …

For some reason it’s not until I’ve attempted to touch that scolding hot stove 73 different ways and seared off the majority of my skin right down to the bone, do I learn… “Ok, so don’t touch the hot fucking stove”

I have 2nd and 3rd degree burns on 15% of my body and spent 2 weeks in the burn unit at Parkland Hospital when I was 29 years to prove it

What were the burns from?

A pan full of hot oil on the stove, it started a huge fire, so I picked it up bu the handle and ran outside with it, and it burned a huge portion of the skin off of my hand, foot and some off of my leg and arm… ouch… I never knew you were supposed to smother a fire like that, not take off and do a 40 yard dash with it… doh 0=

Burns and Skin Grafts Covering 15% Of My Body From Touching The Hot Stove … That’s Why Hand Looks So Damn Funky… I Call It My Sexy Lizard Hand (=

Finally I learned, and today I’m MUCH MORE CAREFUL around hot stoves

I’ve had a life full of hot stoves, as well as mistakes… now there’s nothing wrong with a lot of mistakes, because usually if you’re not making them, you’re not moving forward

But this one is different, and it affects more trainers negatively than anything else I can think it

You see, after years of coaching fitness trainers with their businesses, and seeing the different reasons that some succeed and some don’t…

After showing countless trainers how to build their business… and seeing some do it with amazing results, yet some others don’t, it’s apparent that there’s one big thing behind the failures of most trainer’s businesses

The thing that differentiates the fitness professionals who succeed from those that do not

Not only do the ones who succeed take action do the stuff their supposed to do… but they also do the funkalicious uncomfortable stuff

The others do not… sure, they do the easy stuff, but they steer clear of the stuff that scares them… and this is one of the biggest mistakes we can make in our lives

I’ve been a coward, and I’ve lived bravenly… balls to the wall and full speed ahead…

And I can tell you that the scary stuff in life, the part of our to-do list we keep ignoring… that’s the stuff that you should be doing FIRST… cuz without it, the other stuff really doesn’t matter

It’s like comparing pennies to hundred dollar bills, the comfortable stuff gets you the pennies, while the stuff that makes you shake a little at first gets you the hundies

Upon first examination FEAR can appear to be a nasty old S.O.B… yet it’s really just like the wrapping on a present… sure… wrapping that might be made out of a Michael Myers mask, but underneath it lies many gifts, and one of those gifts is owning your dream business

However everyone I know lets fear hold them back to some extent or another, even the big tough guys, who sometimes, actually, have the most fear… that’s why they project the image of being a big tough guy, to help shield and protect them from the world

Think about this for a minute… if you went and talked to 100 people a day for 50 days about training them… your business would be set… you’d have more clients than you could handle

All you would need to do is get 2% of those people to train with you… that’s just 100 people out of 5000… you’d have 100 brand new clients… and even if you only charged $100 a month, that’s a $10,000 per month income

But no one does this … no one…

Why? … well it’s not lack of time, because even if you had the time, you still wouldn’t do it

The reason is Fear…. and it’s not the healthy kind of fear like what happens to you when you come face to face with a bear, or are being chased by a tornado…

It’s actually something MUCH WORSE than bears and tornadoes …

It’s Dragons…

Dragons you say?

Yeah Dragons… cuz just like dragons it’s all make believe fantasy … it’s all in our fucking heads!

And what is the main dragon we need to slay?

Fear of what other people might think about us if we do this, that, or the other thing.

Fantasies in our head about what MIGHT be goin’ on in their heads if we get out of line and God Forbid, try to sell them on some personal training… something that could save their LIFE!

Fear of what others might think holds more trainers back than anything else

It’s not lack of certs, lack of skill, being too fat, too dumb, too ugly

It’s that low level hum of anxiety that many people feel on a regular basis cranked up a few notches

It’s fear of what others thoughts about us… that they might not like us or heaven forbid maybe they’ll reject us

And maybe they’ll think we lack certs, lack skill, are too fat, too dumb or too ugly

It’s OUR thoughts about THEIR THOUGHTS… and not even their REAL thoughts, what imagine might be their thoughts

A woman who gives a lot of insight into the B.S. storyline we’re constantly telling ourselves is Byron Katie…

She often talks about there being three kinds of business

1. God’s business…. The weather, the war, the traffic

2. Other people’s business… what others think and do

3. And our business… what we think and do

Misery is caused by not being in our own business and being mostly in other people’s business

We completely ignore where our focus should be, in the present moment watching our own thoughts, feeling and actions and are concerned with other people’s business… hoping they won’t disapprove of us or reject us

Living in fear of what “They” might think about us

What he or she or that dude over there thinks about me is NONE of my business

What I think about him and her and that dude over there IS MY business

If I want to be happy, I need to stay in my own business and not get caught up in worrying about what “They” are thinking over there

And what’s really funny is, the more I worry about what they think about me, not only do I paralyze myself from taking positive actions, but THEY tend to judge me and dislike me more

And the less I care, the less they judge and the more they’ll tend to like me

We live in a society full of overgrown adolescents walking around seeking approval

It’s true

I’m amazed about how I can help a new coaching client with their business plan, and if belly-to-belly marketing is one of the strategies we mutually decide they should be doin’, on the phone they’re all rip-roaring ready to go approach people

But then when I talk to them two weeks later, guess what happens?

They didn’t approach a damn person….

That’s because the fear increases with our proximity of that thing we’re afraid of… and on the phone with me they were nice and safe and it all sounded like a good game plan, but when it comes to getting off the coach ( or treadmill) and doing it, they keep putting it off another day

Much safer to do it tomorrow, much too scary today

“A person’s success in life can usually be measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations he or she is willing to have.” 

Timothy Ferriss

I know a lot of dudes who are players in their mind… big time ladies men… tomorrow that is… today, sober, they’re scared shitless of approaching a female

But tomorrow they’re gonna score… at least after they get a nice buzz goin’ on

One way Pick-Up Artists teach men to become more comfortable with picking up women is to go approach 100 women in one day and ask them for their phone numbers

And they have what’s called the 3 second rule…

You need to do it within 3 seconds of seeing her… otherwise you’ll freak yourself out and talk yourself out of it

You’re mind will create all kinds of storylines… full of lies and total bullshit… all so you can stay in your comfortable little shell

That 5’5″ 120lb becomes a 14,000lb fire breathing dragon

But by just goin’ up and doin’ it, it becomes easier and easier, not saying it’ll ever become the most comfortable thing in the world to do, but it gets easier

The freedom comes from Action

Action breaks the shell wide open and exposes it to the light, where you can see the lies for exactly what they are… nothing but lies, stories in your head to keep you safe from judgment, rejection and get this… even success.

Now, typically after a dude has done this for one day, approached a HUGE amount of women ( sober ) … he’s way less freaked out about approaching women he’s attracted to

He realizes he didn’t die, didn’t get beat up, didn’t get laughed at, and it’s all no big deal… and he probably even got some numbers!

It may never get easy, but it gets EASIER

We MUST walk through the valley of our fears and slay the dragons that hold us down... WE MUST, or we never get the chance to fully live

It’s no secret that the people who allow their fears to paralyze them have the shittiest lives… most of it involves watching others on the television set fully live

The people who enjoy the most full and passionate lives live on the edge, taking calculated risks and not allowing the fear of what others think about them hold them back

Most successful entrepreneurs are like this… going for what they want not letting their fears hold them back…

While a large portion of the cubicle dwellers who hate their job and think their boss is an asshole are just too damn scared to do anything worthwhile with their lives

FACT: Those who don’t give a fuck change the world. The rest do not.

What it takes to move past anything is to simply realize that your obstacle is unimportant, and that it can be dismissed. This is true whether you’re running a marathon or trying to get to Mars.

If you dismiss the things that do not matter; if you remove those things from your mind and focus on what must be done; if you understand that your time is limited and decide to work now; only then will you be able to get to the finish line. Otherwise, you will be dissuaded into living a life you aren’t interested in.

- Julien Smith

When I first started my training business I approached TONS of people about training them for free in exchange for referrals… keep in mind, I wasn’t even try to sell them training, I was offering to give them the gift of fitness and if they like the results, they’d get me referrals, a total win/win situation

But I gotta tell ya, at first, it really tripped me out, I could feel my gut get tight, the shaking deep inside and I’d get all sweaty and talk a million miles an hour… but the more I did it, and the more clients I got, the easier it became

But I just kept trudging forward and doin’ it… and it got better and better, the nerves never fully went away, but it’s like I transmuted them into raw energy and passion for what I was doin’… and that’s all anxiety really is, just raw energy

My anxiety turned into excitement and passion for what I was doin’… I was on a mission

I literally talked to HUNDREDS of people, and I simply began to look at every rejection as just a percentage of my next “Yes”… that’s all the rejections meant to me…

I had about 1 in 10 people say “Yes”, so I just figured each rejection was 10% of my next “yes”, but these rejections were mandatory, cuz without them, I wouldn’t be able to get the yeses

In the book ‘Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway’ by Susan Jeffers, Susan talks about how we all think that the most successful people have no fears, not true, they just act IN SPITE of their fears

They feel the fear and do the things they are scared of anyway

Anxiety is a natural feeling, it’s there to help us survive, go on and move forward, but it’s when we let that anxiety create a storyline in our head…  becoming fortune tellers about the bad shit that might happen in the future… that it works against us… to the point of robbing us of a life worth living if we let it

F.E.A.R. – False Evidence Appearing Real... Nothing But LIES

People let these storyline control their future and their fears paralyze them, opting for the more comfortable route of usually doin nothing… which leads to a life of complete mediocrity at best

When people make to do lists, they almost always do the easy shit, and keep putting off the stuff that gives them anxiety as long as possible, often forever

But it’s that stuff on the “to-do” list that makes us shake a little inside and makes our gut curl, where the juicy stuff is

Because on the other side of those tasks there is liberation

Freedom exists just on the other side of doin’ the things we fear

Strength, Freedom and Amazing Experiences…

But there is no way AROUND these things we fear, if we are to really live life fully, the only way is THROUGH

Not around, over or under, only through

Action Alleviates Anxiety

But remember this my son…. the people who succeed aren’t the ones who opt for just doing the comfortable tasks… because those tasks typically offer little payoff

It’s the ones who go out and do the real gnarly shit

It’s easy to just put a few ads up on Craigslist or throw together a daily deal promotion for the bottom-feeding deal hoppers, but rarely will those ads pay off as much as goin’ and talking to a bunch of people in person

If you went out and talked to EVERYONE in your local area about the amazing gifts you have to offer the world, and what they can do for people, you’re success would be inevitable

In every industry, there is an edge. In your business or personal life, it doesn’t matter– somewhere, there is a cliff. Most people don’t want to get to close to it, because they’re afraid they’ll fall off.

Thing is, the edge is where all the cool stuff happens. I know you don’t want to make a decision that is irrevocable and wrong– a decision from which you might never recover– that’s natural. But guess what?

You are actually in the middle of an open field, inside your house, clutching your purse, crying like a little girl while looking at an edge you see on television.

In other words? You are nowhere near the goddamn edge.

It’s time you stopped being a fucking pussy.

- Julien Smith

Do not forget the awesome news… once we walk through the fears, facing them head on… those things that scared us become less and less scary and no longer control us, we are now control, and move from the passenger seat to the drivers seat

Many famous musicians, public speakers and comedians still suffer from some level of stage fright, but they get up there and do what needs to be done.

They could be shaking like a leaf on the inside, but they don’t let it hold them back, otherwise they’d never be living their dream life… they’d probably be working some normal job-type-job that they would HATE…

Sitting there in their cute little cubicle dreaming about being a musician or a comedian or a successful personal trainer… instead of actually doin the awesome thing they do and sharing it with the world

Once we step out of our normal comfort zone, it expands a little…

We keep stepping out, it keeps expanding…

Sometimes we may never be fully comfortable doin those things we currently fear, but the fear stops having power over us…

We act in spite of it, it no longer paralyzes us, for we have risen above it… and now we have the power instead of the fear having the power over us

The magic never happens in our current comfort zone, it’s always just outside of it, the treasure is right on the other side of the dragon, the dragon we need to either slay or become friends with, but we must approach the dragon head on, feel it’s fiery breath and do what needs to be done

Hey I love watching my favorite TV shows at the end of a days work…

But what needs to be done never happens sitting on the couch watching other people face their fears on the television screen, even if their slaying dragons… because we need to go out their slay our own dragon, and no one else can do this for us

So how much longer are you gonna let your fears have power over you, keep you paralyzed and hold you back from having the life and business you TRULY want?

The choice is yours my friend

Action Alleviates Anxiety

I’ve love to hear your comments below

Fear Picture at That Says “Fear Is A Liar” Provided by Diesel Crew

Comments

  1. Straight up TRUTH!! You gotta get out there and take action, if you think about anything too long you’ll talk yourself out of it.

    Love your killer posts Chris, no BS just tell it like it is!

  2. Big post Chris….Rise above….

  3. Great stuff Big Chris, so true. Love the F.E.A.R. Acronym.
    Inspiring.

  4. Chris,

    Thanks for yet another great post. I am about to knock off another big task off my to do list.

  5. Man, I loved the post! It reminded me how I used to be, as I learnt more about marketing, I’ve realised the belly to belly stuff I have neglected!

    Just what I needed!

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* Results are not typical. Advertised results are only typical of people who worked their tails off and followed every one of the fitness marketing strategies and personal training tips that I outline on my site to really explode their fitness business. Also, if you click on a link on my site to someone else's product, there's a good chance I'm makin' a profit off of it, probably even a steep one.